The other day, my son revealed the difficulties of wanting to date. He is approaching nine years old, and now wants a girlfriend. “I’m afraid they’ll laugh in my face and say no”, he expressed. I could feel my eyes rolling to side to side – I am absolutely the wrong person for him to talk to about this. “Well baby, you’re so young. You just need to focus on your school work. I mean if you had a girlfriend, I honestly can’t see how dating would work out at your age. It’s not like you can go places together…I just don’t know”, I was really loosing the concept of why he needed a girlfriend. I understand that it’s what all of the boys want and that it’s the cool thing to do…but if she says yes…then what? They seriously just want a girl to say yes, and then boom! that’s it?
“I know, but I still want one”, he replied. At this point, it sounds like he wanted it just as badly as wanting to pick his nose when I tell him not to. I don’t understand this needing to have a girlfriend at 8 years old. They won’t stay together forever. I see dating as searching for the one to marry, but I have an old soul that believes in those concepts. Dating just to say you are dating is far over my head. “You might want to ask your grandfather about this, because I’m just the wrong person to ask I believe”, I said honestly.
Truth is, I hate her. I hate her already. I don’t know whom she is, but she in on my shit list already. She will be the one that will one day break my sweet little boy’s heart and turn him into the resentful asshole that he should never become. It happens to everyone. I’m aware that I will be the mother-in-law from hell – if it even gets to that point – but I honestly don’t care. I actually like that title. I’ve been protecting my son’s heart all of these, I’m not going to let some red ribbon haired little girl come along and mess that up.
Or am I just being too overly dramatic? I know he is getting closer to the dating stage, but I am not ready to tackle this aspect of life yet. It is way too soon. I also understand that I can’t protect him forever and that he needs to get his heart broken in order to learn strength, but still….I don’t like her already for it.
There was one incident last year where the momma bear came out. We were at the park and my son was playing among some friends he knew from school. One little girl came over to my son, and pointed to some girl in the distance, “Don’t get near her, she forces boys”, she said. Evidently from what I heard from the playground gossip, that girl likes to pull boys to the side and force them to kiss her. I just kind of ignored it, but still kept an eye on my boy. At one point, my son was near this girl with his group of friends and they were speaking to each other. Gossip continued to fly around in the park, so I decided to call it quits. I told my son to get in the car, so we could go home. I asked him once we got in the car, “What did that girl say to you”. He looked at me in confusion, “She said that I was hot”. My eyes grew wide, and I raised my finger in the air, “What?! No girl should ever say that at her age. That is so inappropriate! Listen to me, if a girl says that to you, don’t date her, because she has no respect for you and especially not herself!”. Then I looked over at my son, who was fully engaged in his handheld video game. I knew then that I needed to calm down, because he didn’t need a lecture at 7 years old for something that some other little girl did. I just couldn’t help it, the momma bear came out and she was roaring.
It maybe silly. I maybe thinking too much into it all. It probably wouldn’t hurt him having a girlfriend at 9 years old. He probably needs all kinds of life lessons, but it is obviously that I am the one that is not ready. He’s just so young, and I never dealt with this when I was little. I was homeschooled growing up, so that type of thing was non-existent in my life during that time. Either way, when it happens, I hope she is a respectful and kind girl, but she must know to respect my son and care for him and also…I still don’t like her…