It has taken me a couple months to finally fess up to my son that his two best friends probably won’t ever visit us again, because of the broken friendship between their father and I. The friendship that grew between those two girls and my son was something special. I miss them often as well as my son. I knew it would break his heart to know the truth, however I knew that questions would start flying when they wouldn’t be there for his birthday party.
“Why not?”, he asked. As I had explained the situation to him as gentle as I could, he looked out the car window. “I feel like crying”, he said softly to me. I placed my hand on his back, “And you can if you want to, because this is hard”, I assured him. “I just don’t understand. You said that my one best friend is kind of mean, so I found (them) and they became my true best friends”, he expressed, “I need a new best friend now”. The tears rolled down his face. I felt his pain and I was genuinely hurt for him. How many friends can this child take losing? He lost so many friends in one school year. I felt guilty for some of these outcomes, but now what? What can I do now?
I tried to re-direct his mind, “Well at least you’ll have some friends still coming to your party”, I replied as I started listing a few friends. I began listing some names of children that will be coming. His friend that we saw at the parade, my best friend from Connecticut with her two youngens and my other best friend where her daughter I call my neice may all new there…but I can understand where it’s not quite the same. I also came up with a solution to get him excited about his birthday. “How about that Sunday, we just have cake and some food at the house with some of our friends. We can go outside and play with what we have. But then the following weekend, let’s rent a hotel room at Francis Scott Key Resort. It has an indoor pool with slides and arcade room. We can play put put golf and play on go karts”, I explained. He started to wipe his tears. I pulled up pictures of the hotel, and he started to express his excitement. “Yeah, lets do that”, he replied.
I know that I just totally bribed my child, but MOM GUILT is the worst! Plus, it would be a nice getaway from our troubles. I want him to feel like his birthday means something, because it truly does. To be doing something big for his birthday makes him feel special and I don’t want him to forget who he is. Friends come and go in our lives, but I will always be there for him during his good and bad days. So, we can only hope for a good turn out for his mini birthday party and an amazing getaway the following week.