The wake of the morning, I could hear the roaring winds blowing. With a day of warmth and clear skies the day before, it took me by surprise of the change in weather. This would of been a nice day to relax, snuggle with my son and sip tea all day, but reality is that we have responsibilities of school and work to attend.
After running through the blustery storm, we both let out a sigh to the relief of calm inside of the car. As we moved the car through the storm, I could feel the pull of the wind. So I drove toward it like a diver in a bed of waves. Still we remained dry, calm and quiet inside of our car.
At this point, my son brought up that his best friend from daycare is moving. My heart automatically hurt for him as this would be the third friend that he would lose this school year to moving. One friend from daycare moved away at the start of school. They had been friends for 4 years. This was the most heartbreaking friendship for him as he still brings her up, “I love her, not like a girlfriend, but I love her”. I still hold the guilt of never contacting her parents, so they could of stayed connected. Now another friend from daycare is moving, luckily I know her mother, so I can keep them connected unlike the last one lost. The third friend was our neighbor that we lived next to for three years, unfortunately before we moved away. Each of those friendships were special, they were wonderful and beautiful. Their bonds were special in their own little way. One was special in a way that they played so well together, the other was sweet because they shared stories about their lives and the third was that she had the quirky personality that my son could relate to. My son had already explained to me that he knows the difference between having friends and having truly best friends. These were best friends that he was losing.
I know what it’s like to have no friends, struggle to keep friends, or constantly lose them. When I was little, we had lots of neighborhood kids on our street, yet I knew that they were never really true friends. None of them really liked me that much, they just tolerated me because I was an extra player in their game. I always wanted to be accepted and liked, so I continued to join in. However, I still felt very lonely. I don’t think my parents ever realized my feelings about that, so I wasn’t exactly open for them to comfort me for those times. My brothers were my friends to an extent, but that’s family. My best friend sadly enough was my hamster, Ms. Hugs. I had no one to talk to about the things that bothered me or made me happy, so I talked to her all of the time. Even though she lived past her statistic age, 3 years wasn’t long enough for me. She passed away to cancer in July of 1997.
Even as an adult, I tend to have a hard time trying to keep friendships. I am still learning who is truly my best friend, just a fun friend and even my frenemies. I’ve tried to explain to my son that friends come and go, but that’s why you hold your family closer and learn to love yourself. When you don’t have friends, you’ll always have yourself, so you better get to liking who you are dealing with. I know even with encouraging words such as these, I know what it’s like to just want society and your peers to like and accept you. I have one friendship that has lasted for 16 years, and even that was an off and on friendship. I never really found my truly best friend that I now consider as a sister until I was 26 years old.
Friendships reminds me of days like today. Friendships come and go like the weather. Some days are clear, sunny and they make you feel warm. Some days there will be storms and either you’ll become it or get past it. However, when you’re hit with the fury of a storm, depending where you are, you can either be rattled with rain drop tears or be calm and collected because you will always have yourself.