Parents have the strong will not to cry, especially in front of their young. When my son is around and I know I’m on the verge of crying, I find the strength within to not cry. “I’ll wait until he falls asleep”, I think to myself. How can we do that? Because we know there is no other way.
I refuse to cry in front of my son. To me it shows him that life has defeated me, life is truly hard and that I am not strong. If I’m not strong, he has the opportunity to judge my strength, my will power and capability to protect.
“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while,
so that we can see life with a clearer view again.”
- Alex Tan
Sometimes life hits you right in the gut. Maybe a co-worker yelled at you, maybe you feel lost about your life, maybe your car broke down, maybe you feel like you’re failing as a parent or maybe you broke up with a friend, either way you may not show emotion! To not cry in front of your child is the silent rule of parenting. If you do, then he will ask questions and then you’re dropping all of your problems onto your child. That is too much for a child to handle.
“People cry not because they’re weak,
It’s because they’ve been strong for too long”.
- Johnny Depp
Of course, you are inclined to cry if someone passes away, that’s a different story. You’re teaching your child that it’s acceptable to mourn and you must mourn to move forward. However, daily life problems will have to wait. I wait until after I drop my son off to school, after work in between picking him up from daycare or after bedtime. Sometimes, you lose power to sobbing. In those moments, I find a quick room to shoot into for a quick cry. In fact, my bathroom is my sanctuary. That is where I go to cry. It’s farthest from the bedroom, so he won’t hear me weep.
Crying is part of life and parents cry often. It’s a routine that we go through, yet no one speaks about. Parenting is hard and we often feel like we are failing our children. We cry through the hard times, through the sentiments, the memories, the fights and the proud moments. Our children will never know how much we put into raising them. They’ll never see how much emotion is built up for them. They will never know until they become parents themselves.